My Gothik Origins

When I was a little girl, I was fascinated with Vampires. I blame my mother for this fascination as she got me hooked to an old Soap Opera called Dark Shadows starring Jonathan Frid as Barnabas Collins.

I, being 2 years old was exposed to Vampires, Batman and Horror movies from a young age and no I did not have nightmares, or at least the type you would assume I would have. I had adventures in my dreams. I enjoyed swashbuckling with pirates, fighting against demons, dancing with vampires…etc…I had fun in my dreams. Didn’t matter if a normal person considered them a nightmare, I was far from normal. I was Goth.

Growing up as a Goth in the inside was difficult, especially since my mother wouldn’t allow me to wear the clothing I wanted to wear or make up for that matter. So I would keep my Gothiness to myself, hidden in my writing. I became a storyteller when I was in Pre-school, and started to write horror fiction in Kindergarten. Years of being the “weird kid” in class, defined as a cry baby because everyone decided to make fun of the quietest kid in class. I didn’t take it well, the bullying but that was because the bullying occurred both at home and at school. It never stopped and I never had a safe place from negativity.

But let’s forget about that topic for now, let’s discuss when I finally was able to be GOTH visually speaking, in MIDDLE SCHOOL….my mom let me get a few clothing items that I wanted, and allowed me to wear MAKE UP! She even let me use temp color dye for my hair on halloween. I was a PINK short haired Supergirl and I felt dignified to be able to be myself. Yes, when I was younger I was the original PUNK flavored Goth. As you all know Goth is the Post Punk movement, as Punk gave birth to Goth in the late 70s early 80s.

In High School is where my REAL Gothiness bloomed, I was able to wear what I want, permanently dye my hair black or whatever color I wanted. I would switch from black to bleach/white out blond. I went with the White Out Blond so I could make temp wash out color dyes pop out. Bright vibrant neon colors.

I was your typical Hot Topic Goth as a child, only because the internet didn’t really have stores like they do nowadays, you can’t just order whatever you want and have it shipped to you back in the day. I have to say Hot Topic then versus now. I miss the old Hot Topic. Mainly the cloths from back then. I mean yes they have some good clothing still, but now I don’t fit in their clothing because I’m a plus size girl. When I was younger I was a skinny nothing. However, they stopped selling my favorite pants in store, not that it matters because they wouldn’t fit. But still. How dare they make my BONDAGE TRIPP PANTS an ONLINE only sale.

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Do you have YOUR GOTH origin story you want to share? When did you realize you were Goth? When were you able to show the world you were Goth? Are you still in the Goth Closet? Have a favorite place to shop Goth? Miss anything about the world as a kid Goth versus the world as an adult Goth? Tell Me your stories by calling into the show when I’m live  or Hit me up on Twitter @jessikadarkstar. I promise I won’t bite.

Remember to tune in EVERY TUESDAY 2PM CST on Evolution Pop for Unveiling the Obscurities ~ A Show about the Goth Subculture.

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